


Inch by Inch

by Corvidatury



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Asexual Reader, Eventual Fluff, Feat. The horrors of retail, Humor, Other, Post Pacifist Route, Slow Burn, almost a self-insert but sshhh, gender neutral reader, the more I write the more there's a plot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-23
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-03 01:07:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5270849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corvidatury/pseuds/Corvidatury
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>your job is hard enough, with screaming kids and clueless customers to deal with, but now a certain drama queen has been thrown into the mix you get the feeling that you're never going to have peace and quiet ever again. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing...</p><p>*ON HIATUS*<br/>It never ennnddsss.....<br/>Still chipping away at the next chapter, I promise! Everything has been chaos since my interview, I got the place though!!! Super excited, but there's been a whole lot of paperwork and student finance being dumb and also gender clinic stuff happening and yadda yadda yadda. I'll be back on track soon though, I'm determined to finish this fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The start of a terrible relationship

**Author's Note:**

> Wow okay, undertale has done something to me because this is the first fanfic I've written since I was about 17. That was a while ago now if you're wondering.  
> The world needs more fluffy Mettaton fics! It's going to be a slow, slooow burn so sit tight, we'll get there eventually. There might be make outs later but probably no smut, there's enough of that floating round already.  
> Most of the stuff that customers do in this fic is stuff that has actually happened where I work, nothing opens your eyes quite like retail.... 
> 
>  
> 
> Comments and critisicm are much appreciated! I'm editing this on my own so there's bound to be typos and sentences that look weird for whatever reason. I'm also a little worried about the pacing, is it too fast? Let me know what you think!

There were a few people waiting outside that morning when you went to open up, and you sighed inwardly to yourself. Usually, that meant it was going to be 'one of those days', and when you tripped up on a roll of fabric sticking out just that little bit too far on your way back to the desk, you had already resigned yourself to it.

Not every day can be a winner.

You work part time in a small, family run fabric shop, and wait tables on the weekends. It's not a bad way to earn a living as far as these things go, and you see it as just a temporary thing anyway. You're not sure what you want to do with your life just yet. Sewing is a hobby of yours, but while you're fairly knowledgable you're not sure if you know enough to make a career out of it.

The shop itself is a decent size, but looks smaller thanks to the many stands of fabric stacked up to the ceiling, leaving walkways too narrow for more than one person at a time. It was hell whenever there was more than one pushchair being wheeled around. There was one already, being carelessly pushed around by a lizard-like monster, with her entourage of children tripping along behind. You had to ask her several times to move the pushchair out of the way for other customers, including one older human lady who looked incredibly uncomfortable with the whole situation. You were also trying to keep a mental note of where all the kids were while you were measuring her fabric.

Monsters had integrated with few hiccups after the barrier was broken about a year ago, and in the time since then you had found no noticeable difference between monster kids and human kids. Currently, there was one pulling all the tops off the button jars, another was making a growing pile of ribbon reels, trims, and buttons on the desk, and a third, the youngest you guessed, was tucking into a sticky bag of sweets and threatening to touch all the satins. You narrowly escaped cutting your finger off with the scissors as a fourth appeared under your arm, eager to help, and you had to barricade your stream of profanities behind a strained smile as you herded them back to the other side of the desk.

The first kid had obviously gotten bored of swapping the button lids around and instead had found the toy squeakers, and your eye twitched as the rest of them rushed over and a chorus of incessant, high pitched squeaking tore through the shop. It wasn't even lunch time and you were already ready to break something, so you finish up the mother's order in record time so that she would leave and take her kids with her. You wait until she's clear of the door before you let out an exhausted groan and rub at your forehead.

 

Why.

 

It's still morning.

 

Your colleague Deb pats you on the back with a chuckle. She was a short, middle aged woman that reminded you a little bit of your mum, in a good way.

"go have a biscuit, you deserve it after all that."

You can hear the teasing tone in her voice but you're not in the mood for snarking back, so you just nod and duck into the stock room for a minute. There's a shelf just inside the door where you keep all the snacks and drinks, and since the management is pretty lenient about it, there's always a mountain of biscuits, sweets and cakes to snack on. You manage to get a bite of custard cream before you notice the older lady from earlier trying to get your attention through the door, waving you over with a frown on her face.

"Can I help?"

" there's a, uuh... The wheelchair ramp is needed."

"Oh ok, thanks for letting me know."

You smile at her as you pass, but she still looks disgruntled. Probably another monster, if her reaction to the lizard family was anything to go by, although that could equally have just been the children's behaviour. Kids were delightful, but they should never be let loose in a retail setting, human or monster.

As you approached the door it took you a while to register what was standing outside. You were expecting someone in a wheelchair at the very least, maybe a type of monster that was having difficulty with the two steps up to the door, but what you actually saw was.... You're not quite sure what it was.

It... They? Were facing away from you, a big metal box about chest height teetering on a single wheel. There was a few teen girls crowding around them and giggling, and it wasn't until they spoke that you figured out why.

"Darlings, it's been lovely meeting such dedicated fans but I really must dash, I'm on a tight schedule you see."

You had only seen his channel once or twice while channel surfing, but you recognised the voice instantly. Smooth and velvety, and oozing with staged sincerity. What was he doing in a town in the middle of nowhere?

"Mettaton is it? I never thought I'd see you in this neck of the woods. How can I help?"

He whirls around at the first syllable of his name, and strikes a dramatic pose, or as dramatic a pose an overgrown toaster can make.

"Aah, come to my rescue! As you can see, my sweet, stairs pose a bit of a problem when you only have wheels. There's only two itty bitty steps but I assume you have a ramp of some kind?"

He practically purrs the request. Unfazed, you reach for the metal ramp propped behind the door and set it down carefully, moving back to let him in. He doesn't move at first and you notice he's gone stock still, lights slowed to a blink. Is he... Staring at you? It's hard to tell when he doesn't have a face to speak of. The girls behind him are whispering to each other quietly and giggling, and you can't help but wonder if you've missed something.

After a few moments Mettaton whirrs back into action as if nothing happened and wheels into the shop, and as he passes he trails his hand down your arm.

"thanks gorgeous."

You bristle at the pet name. He says it in such a sultry tone that you wonder what the hell he's playing at, is he capable of saying anything that doesn't sound like a flirtation?

He wheels a little way away and then turns back to you in a way that you suspect is supposed to be nonchalant, but looks more expectant. He stares at you again, like he's trying to gauge your reaction, so you paste on your customer service smile.

"Feel free to look around, if you need help finding anything just give me a shout."

"...sure thing darling."

There's a note of hesitance in his voice, but he wanders off regardless, leaving you to shoo off his fan girls still in front of the shop and take up the ramp again. Business is starting to pick up, so you go back to the desk to serve customers for a while with Deb, half keeping your eye on the superstar as you go.

He bustled around with the same air of confidence that you see on the professionals, feeling the fabrics as he goes and carting rolls around to compare them to others. After a while you notice that he'd done several sweeps of the shop already, which seemed weirdly methodical.

But it suddenly hits you why, and you have to choke back a laugh, gaining a few concerned looks from customers and Deb, who even pats you on the back a bit.

 

He can't turn around.

 

The isles created by the fabric stands were just about wide enough to allow him to pass, but being so bulky and square meant that he either had to wheel backwards, assuming there wasn't anyone/anything behind him, or do a complete circuit of the shop.

You hold out until the rush dies down and Deb goes back to restocking before you decide to show him mercy and help him out.

You approach him from behind, feeling bad about your mean streak, but you think he deserves a bit of payback for the weird flirting earlier.

"Hey Mettaton, you need any help?"

He visibly freezes, and for a moment you think maybe you went a bit too far, but then without warning he whizzes off towards the door where he has room to turn around and then zooms straight back again in a shower of glitter, leaning casually against the fabric stands as if the whole thing was planned. You think maybe he expects you to be impressed, but instead you just frown slightly at the now be-glittered floor. As if you didn't have enough glitter to sweep up in this shop.

The lights on his screen flicker grey for a second.

"Oh darling, I didn't see you there! I'd appreciate a little assistance actually, you see I'm preparing for a Theatre production of my new musical; The Seventh Human, as Told by a Killer Robot."

He spread his hands dramatically, tiny stars blinking on his screen. You're sure he would be twirling around and throwing more glitter if he wasn't literally boxed in.

"A story of drama, heartbreak, and violence! It's going to be a hit, I'm sure of it." He's waving his hands enthusiastically now, and the stand next to him is wobbling in a way that's concerning and you grab hold of it to stop it toppling on top of you both. "Romance! Friendship! Betrayal! Ooooooh honey you're going to love it! You will come to see it right?"

Abruptly he grabs one of your hands and looks up at you earnestly, and it takes you a second to register that he's asking you a question.

"Ugh, sure..." You're sure you saw a little heart pop up on the screen but the lights were moving too fast for you to be sure. "... But what's it about?"

"Why, our daring escape from the underground of course!"

Before you can react his arm snakes out around your shoulders and pulls you towards him in a way that you suspect was supposed to be a side hug as he gazes dramatically into the distance. Instead, you're bent over double with your head pressed to his cold metal chest.

It's not very comfortable.

Heat foods your face, mostly from embarrassment but also anger. Does he push everyone around like this?! You manage to wriggle free, but he continues talking regardless.

"A lone human falls into a cavern and has to fight for their life, monsters with good intentions all clamouring for the final soul, and of course my dazzling fight with Frisk, re-enacted for the entertainment of the devoted masses-"

"So how can I help."

You cut him off and he focuses back on you, like he forgot you were there at all. Your patience is wearing thin, not that it was that great to start with, and you make a mental note not to give him room to waffle in future.

"Aah... yes, well, you see I've tasked myself with sourcing fabric for the costumes and the set, but I'm not sure what would be best..."

"It depends what you're doing really. What kind of budget do you have? That's usually a good starting point."

Quite high, you guess, judging by the fabrics he was carting around earlier. He doesn't answer, just waves his hand dismissively.

"Oh darling, let's not talk money right now. What I want is glamour, something that screams style. I was thinking this one for the waterfall backdrop."

He holds up a roll of chiffon, a black background with bright blue and green glittery swirls. You have no idea of what this waterfall place looks like, but you're positive an entire background made of this would look tacky as hell.

"Well.... I guess...? That glitter is going to get everywhere though, it sheds like anything." You pick up the roll and shake it as a demonstration, glitter falling in a thick cloud to add to the pile still on the floor.

"It's perfect!"

Mettaton's entire screen flashed a heart. You stare back blankly.

"...well to save the poor stagehands having to sweep every five minutes... What about this one?" You show him a taffeta, this one black again but with a two-tone shimmer of neon blue to it. "It's a bit cheaper too."

He gasps, one hand to his chest, and gently takes the fabric from you, moving it this way and that. "Just like home..." He mutters, almost too quiet to hear, and you're a little taken aback. Up until now, he'd been so loud that the rest of the shop had noticeably slowed in their shopping in order to eavesdrop, but he said it with such fondness that he seemed like a different person.

 

But then the moment is gone and he's back to shouting.

 

"Oh this is perfect! I see you're not just a pretty face..."

He runs a finger along your jaw, and your face heats up again. He looks pleased with himself, until he notices the way your hands are bunched tightly into fists and you're glaring at him with all the intensity of a sledge-hammer.

 

"Stop. Touching. Me."

 

He looks at you for a long while, and it's the quietest he's been since you met him.

 

"....sorry darling... I get a bit carried away sometimes..."

 

 

He says it in the same soft tone as earlier, and your anger starts to fade again.

Or at least you feel less inclined to punch him.

It makes you feel a little better that he's not so up himself that he won't apologise.

The shop around you is dead silent. A quick glance around reveals that the handful of customers are all staring in your direction, a few craning their necks around stands to get a better look, and Deb looks ready to leap over the counter and give Mettaton a piece of her mind.

You give her a look that says 'it's cool, I got this' and she returns a worried smile before hesitantly turning back to the till.

"Apology accepted. Don't do it again."

He relaxes a little. You're not sure why, it's not like you could actually do any damage to him. Not that you're the type to lash out at a customer, but he doesn't have to know that.

You're feeling sort of cramped all of a sudden, and Mettaton is still comically wedged in the isle, so you suggest you both move where there's more space.

"That's very considerate of you honey but I think I'll take my leave for today, I've got some ideas to work with at least. Ta-ta!"

With that, he wheels down the isle backwards with a wave, turns when he gets nearer the door, and rolls down the steps with all the grace of a vacuum cleaner. You watch him until he's out of sight, and then mumble to Deb that you're going on your break. She doesn't say anything, just nods, and you trudge through the back to the staff room.


	2. Stone Age technology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You think maybe, just maybe, you've seen the last of him, but obviously the universe hates you.

You end up going to your favourite diner after work as a treat. You can't afford to eat out every day but that morning had been so stressful you felt you deserved it.  
The bell jingled when you entered, and the rabbit behind the bar nodded at you as you took a seat. You didn't know him by name, just that he owned the place. You came here often enough that he recognised you and remembered your order, so you weren't surprised when he brought you your coffee straight away.  
You gave him your food order and he disappeared into the kitchen leaving you to your thoughts. 

The rest of the day had gone a lot better than the morning. There were a couple of large orders after lunch that took a while to sort out, and you always found something soothing about folding up fabric. Deb had hovered over you until you had assured her for the tenth time that you were fine, really, just tired, and the constant stream of customers meant you left the conversation at that, which you were thankful for. There hadn't even been that much of a problem, you've dealt with diva customers before. Mettaton hadn't even been the worst.  
Unconsciously you rub your face where he'd touched you with your left hand, the other stirring patterns into your coffee. You'd never come across someone as blatant with their flirting as that though. Except maybe once.  
Yeah, you'd had people try to flirt their way to a discount, but you could always tell it was insincere. You knew how to deal with that. What you didn't know how to deal with was... Well, Mettaton.  
Sighing, you sip your coffee and look around the diner. There were a few people who were having their evening meals, after work probably. A young family were in the corner booth, and two girls were at a table sharing a milkshake. Nobody you recognised. 

"Hey friend, long time no see!"

You turn back to your table to find that the waitress, your friend Bella, had arrived with the food. She's a young rabbit monster with floppy ears who works here part time after school, her dad being the owner. That's probably the reason she has a job at all, you remember being her age trying to find a Saturday job; old enough to work but too young to hire. She sets your food down and sits opposite you, stealing a chip and grinning. You grin back.

"I'm not supposed to fraternise with the staff on duty you know."

"Good thing I'm on break then."

You laugh as she yells to her dad that she's taking a break, and start on your food. 

"So what's shakin, bacon?"

You groan and roll your eyes. 

"God, I had the absolute worst day today. You'll never guess who rolled up at the shop."

She leans forward and rests her head in her hands, elbows propped on the table.

"Go on, tell me."

"Only prince glam-bot himself."

"NO WAY. METTATON??"

She stands up abruptly and slams her hands on the table, almost sending your food flying, which earns a few stares from the other patrons and a warning to tone it down from her dad behind the bar. 

"Are you kidding me?? What was he like? Did you get his autograph?"

"Dude, sit down or I'm not telling you anything."

She obliges, but is leaning so far over the table that she might as well be lying on it. She wiggles her eyebrows at you and you roll your eyes.

"Ok fine. He was very... Dramatic.... Needed to dress a set for a play he's doing, something about how the barrier was broken. He sort of invited me to go see it?"

You swear there were literal stars in her eyes, and you could physically see her holding back a squeal.  
"Oooohhhhh my gooodddddddd, you are so lucky!? I've been a big fan of his since his debut underground! You have to introduce me."

You laugh nervously and take a sip of your coffee.  
"I.... Don't even know if he's going to show up again. I got mad at him..."

"What? Why?"

"He kept flirting! It was weird."

"He flirts with everyone, that's his THING. don't you watch his show?"

"Obviously not..."

"Well if he does come back you HAVE to introduce me. What I'd give for a kiss..."

She fans herself with her hand and you laugh. "Sorry to say it, but he's too old for you."

She goes to reply but is interrupted by her dad calling for her, so she steals another chip and skips off towards the kitchen, mouthing 'introduce me!' Over her shoulder.

You sigh and shove a handful of chips in your mouth. 

You really hope he doesn't show up again. 

 

\-------------------------------

 

The next day, you're back at work and fighting with the fax machine. The manager and another of your colleagues, Harriet, are counting stock out the back, leaving you to run the shop floor by yourself. Not that there's many customers. The shop, despite this being the age of technology, still uses a fax machine for contacting suppliers, and when you first started working here the dial-up tone was a novelty. Right now it was mocking you with a tinny voice saying 'this number is unavailable, please try again later.'  
The fax machine is positioned under the desk to keep it out of the way, so you have to basically sit on the floor to use it. You're so engrossed in trying to fax over these damn orders that it takes you a while to notice that the light has disappeared, and when you look up to try and figure out why, there's a smoky eye and a veil of black hair peering over the edge of the desk at you. 

"What the-?"

You scramble back, confused, and find that the face is connected to a body which is lounging on the desk.

"Hello again darling!"

"...oh. Mettaton."

You're still confused, but you stand up to get a better look at him. He's looking significantly more humanoid this time, and more pink. You can see black leggings and pink high heeled boots since he's now waving them in the air, flawless face resting in his hands, and these large black... Pauldrons? Shoulder spikes? You're not sure what to call them, but they make him look like he's walked straight out of the 80s. He bats his long eyelashes at you.

"Sorry, did I surprise you darling? I figured this body would be easier to move around the shop, much more dignified."

"I'm more surprised you came back," you say before you can stop yourself. He pouts, and rolls onto his back with an ungraceful clang.

"Am I not welcome?"

"No, you're... Look, can you stop lounging on the desk please, you're disturbing the other customers." 

He sits up and looks around. "What other customers?"

You turn just in time to see the last customer hurrying out the door and you give a deep sigh.

"Okay then, you're disturbing _me._ Also I don't think it's good for the table."

He pouts again but hops off the table as requested, his heels clicking on the floor. You sigh and return to your battle with the fax machine. Maybe if you ignore him, he'll go away.  
You can hear his heels on the floor as he walks round to join you, crouching close enough that you can smell his fruity perfume. Not entirely unpleasant, you catch yourself thinking. You concentrate on the fax machine, but out of the corner of you eye you can tell he's watching you, and the same feeling that he's waiting for something niggles at the back of your mind. You're about to comment on it when the fax machine spits out the order form again with the same tinny voice. 

"Aargh! Why won't you work!"

"Here darling, let me."

He reaches past you, leaning a little too close for comfort, and starts taking the machine apart. You lean back on your heels to give him more space. And yourself more space. The smirk on his face tells you it was intentional. Really, you shouldn't be letting a customer mess with staff equipment but at this point you're fed up with the stupid thing and it's about time your boss upgraded the system anyway. He takes another part off, this time with a little pleased hum, and blows the dust off. He delicately picks off the last few bits of fluff before putting everything back where it was so quickly that you couldn't follow what part went where.  
He sits back, gesturing to the machine with a wink. Or what you assume is a wink.

"Give it a try now."

You raise an eyebrow but oblige him anyway, feeding the paper through and then punching in the number. It starts screeching the dial up tone again, but after a few seconds you hear the long beep that indicates something has been sent. 

You turn to him with the beginnings of a grin on your face, and he beams a smile in return. 

"Thanks... How did you know how to fix it?"

He stands up and dusts himself off, then offers you a hand. You consider it for a moment before taking it hesitantly, and he pulls you to your feet. 

"Well dear, I have moving parts too you know. There's nothing quite like a vent clogged up with dust to ruin your day." 

He frowns and wrinkles his nose, and it's so unlike his other carefully crafted expressions that you can't help but laugh. He looks at you in surprise, a little exclamation mark flashing in his pupil, and it's so ridiculous that it just makes you laugh even harder, wiping tears from your eyes. It must have been infectious because Mettaton starts giggling too, and it takes you both a while to compose yourselves.  
Eventually you both straighten up with only the occasional giggle, and you notice you can hear the whirring of fans from somewhere. You frown at the fax machine and lean down a bit to listen but it's sitting silent. So where is that noise coming from...?  
Mettaton is suddenly gone from your side and is sauntering down between the stands of fabric. 

"Down to business darling! I have a set to dress!"

You listen for a few seconds more and the whirring is gone. Shrugging to yourself, you follow him down the isle where he's already gathered a few different rolls. 

"Let's focus on the ruins first, since that's the first act and you have to really hook the audience."

"I doubt anyone would walk out during one of your performances," you say half-sarcastically. Seems to you that anyone who went to a Mettaton show would already be a fan, and would probably eat up three hours of him just standing there posing. He doesn't seem to catch the sarcasm and smiles warmly at you.

"Yes, but it has to be dazzling from start to finish."

"So why does it matter which set you start with?"

He holds up a finger as if to reply, but then frowns and puts the finger to his lips thoughtfully instead.

"You know, you've got me there honey." 

You let out a light snort and his eyes fall on you, staring so intensely that you feel pinned to the spot. You can hear the whirring again. 

He clears his throat and turns back to the fabric. 

"So darling, what about this for a snow scene?" 

It takes you a few seconds to remember how to speak. Why can't you read this guy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was looking forward to writing this chapter, it pretty much wrote itself.  
> What is up with Metta?? You'll just have to wait~  
> It might be a while till the next chapter though, I'm gonna be pretty busy the next few days. I'm getting the hang of it all though and I have the next few chapter ideas lined up, so that's always good :P


	3. Calculators

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Really honey, it's ok. It happens." He fiddles with the frayed edge of one of the fabrics, his expression unreadable. "It's been tough for everyone since we got to the surface, it's not as peachy as the human media makes it out to be."

You spend a good half hour or so comparing fabrics and talking through ideas, Mettaton constantly throwing out flirtations and compliments with a low voice and lidded eyes. You're thankful he's not physically touching you anymore, but it still grates on your nerves. Is he trying to get a reaction out of you? You're not really sure why, other than maybe he's just come to expect a reaction from people. Every time you've seen him with a fan they've practically melted at the first pet name, but it doesn't work the same way for you. It just makes you want to roll your eyes.

"Darling?" 

You realise you've been zoning out and shoot him an apologetic smile.

"Oh, sorry... Got lost in thought."

He leans closer with a smirk. 

"Thoughts about what?"

You send him a glare, but there's not much weight to it. Despite the flirting, he's interesting to talk to and has a good eye for fabrics, even if a lot of glitter is involved. You're also really curious about this musical of his.

"I was wondering what a superstar like you was doing buying his own fabric. Don't you have "people" to do it for you?" You say, doing air quotes with your hands. 

He huffs and shifts his weight, gaze directed anywhere but you.

"Yes, well... I have a rather hands-on approach."

"I've noticed...." You mutter under your breath, rolling your eyes. He pouts and puts his hands on his hips.

"I did apologise..."

You're about to reply with something snarky but are interrupted by a quiet gasp behind you. Harriet has finally returned from the depths of the stock room and is staring at Mettaton, eyes wide and her mouth a tiny 'o'. Eventually she remembers herself and waves you overs hurriedly, and after a shared look of confusion with Mettaton you excuse yourself and go to meet her.

As soon as you're within range she starts whispering loudly at you. "Oh my god is that Mettaton? I've seen YouTube videos but I didn't think it actually looked like that. I thought they only rolled it out for performances..." 

"He sure is... Something..." You glance over your shoulder at him and see that he's gone back to examining fabrics. "The first time I met him he looked like a calculator."

Here eyes bulge out even further. "You mean it's been in here before?? Did it come in with anybody? There must be like a remote control or something somewhere."

You frown. "What? No, he's by himself. What's a remote got to do with it?"

She's leaning around you to stare at him some more, fidgeting with the hem of her jumper. "But it's a robot right? They don't just walk and talk by themselves, someone's gotta be controlling it..."

You roll your eyes and turn to look at him again. She's right, in the human world at least. But he came up from the underground with the rest of the monsters, and they have that magic stuff. In the time you've spoken to him he's seemed perfectly sentient and you say as much to Harriet, who just looks more alarmed by the second. 

"B..but like I don't trust it, there's all that scifi stuff about mindless robots taking over the world and-"

You purse your lips and fix her with a hard glare. 

"Listen, I don't care what the hell he is, he's a customer and he's definitely not mindless. Cut down on the B movies."

You gesture sarcastically at the growing queue of customers and then leave her to it, striding back down the shop towards the robot in question. You can feel her stare prickling at your back so you pat him jovially on the shoulder for good measure, making him turn to you with an expression equal parts surprise and genuine delight. 

Which quickly turns to an amused smirk.

"...A calculator, hmm?"

You freeze. Oh no. 

"I promise I didn't mean to eavesdrop darling, but thank you."

You deflate as all the determination floods out of you. He heard all that?! He was at the other end of the shop!

As if answering your question, he giggles and says "I have exceptionally good hearing." He looks endlessly amused, but there's a note of fondness in there too.

God, your face must be a picture.

He laughs again, a delicate, bubbly laugh, and you feel heat rise to your face. Oh my god this is not happening. 

"I-I'm really sorry about all that though, Harriet's usually really nice... I didn't think she'd be so..." You grasp for a word, but nothing comes to mind, so you just sigh instead. 

"Really honey, it's ok. It happens." He fiddles with the frayed edge of one of the fabrics, his expression unreadable. "It's been tough for everyone since we got to the surface, it's not as peachy as the human media makes it out to be." 

You think back, and it does sort of make sense. Your town isn't all that large, and while there are monsters living here the numbers are small. Everyone more or less gets along to your knowledge but maybe it's different in the bigger cities.

"Well I guess I'll have to set the bar then," you say with a small smile, and he raises an eyebrow.

**"In fact,"** you say loud enough for Harriet to hear, **"why don't we go hang out when my shift is over?"**

**"I'd love to darling,"** he says, playing along but trying not to laugh. **"There's a little coffee shop nearby that you'd absolutely love!"**

You can't hold back a snigger. "It's a date! But first lets get this fabric sorted, otherwise you're never gonna get your show on the road."

He's settled on about six different fabrics, and you stack them all up one by one over your shoulder and carry them towards the counter. Not that you're showing off but... Yeah, you're showing off. Only a little. Fabric is heavy, and in the time you've been working here you've built up a bit of muscle. You're now determined to be friends with Mettaton and you want to impress him a little bit, there's a part of you that wants to prove that you're interesting enough to hang out with a monster celebrity. Placing the rolls on the counter, you realise that he hasn't followed you up to the desk. He's still standing where you left him, staring at you with that unreadable expression again. 

"You coming or what?"

He blinks a few times and then his usual smirk is back, hips swaying as he strides after you. When he reaches the desk he bends at the waist to rest his elbows on the counter, face in his hands. He seems to have cranked up the drama and you realise it's because people are staring again. 

"Do you always have to have an audience?"

Mettaton looks up at you with a grin and flutters his eyelashes at you. 

"Of course honey, don't you know all the world's a stage?"

He leans to the side a little bit and blows a kiss to Harriet and her customer who are standing behind you, Harriet's face going white as a sheet while the customer went so red you could almost see steam coming out of their ears.  
A few people in the queue are whispering and craning their necks to watch, and with eyes on him Mettaton is clearly in his element. He goes to sit on the edge of the desk but you can see where this is going and shove him off again before he can get comfortable. He's not as heavy as you expected, but still a lot heavier than a human his size would be and a lot harder to push off the desk had you let him sprawl all over it again.

"What did I say about the desk? I need room to measure stuff."

He pouts but settles for leaning one hand on the desk instead, running his other hand through his hair.

"But really darling, I'm doing all these lovely people a great service!"

"Yeah yeah, you're not on stage yet. Do you want this fabric or not?" 

He rolls his eyes but there's humour in it, and you smile back. You're a little self-conscious, but Mettaton's confidence is infectious, and you feel better noticing there's still a handful of customers who aren't paying much attention despite his best efforts. Pretty much all of them are humans. 

"So," you start, unrolling the first roll of fabric ready for measuring, "how much of this one? It's being draped across the top, right?"

Mettaton rubs his chin thoughtfully, still leaning on the desk. 

"Yes, but it's going to be released to fall like a curtain over the set, so it needs the drop too."

"Okay, gimme the dimensions of the stage and we'll work it out from there."

You slide a pen and a piece of paper over to him and while he's drawing out a diagram you fish out a calculator from under the desk, trying and failing to keep a straight face. He looks up at you, and then at the calculator, and sticks his tongue out at you playfully.

"Hush you, I made my debut with that body."  
"Really?"

"Yes, haven't you watched my shows?"

You shake your head and he wilts a bit. 

"...what do you actually know about me?"

"Well... You're a monster celebrity with two different bodies, you're hyper dramatic and you practically sweat glitter."

Mettaton lets out a whine and slumps over on the desk.

"Yes but those are things you've learned since you've met me! Is there nothing else? What about my Wikipedia page?"

You frown lightly at him. He's looking up at you from under his fringe with an expression very similar to a kicked puppy. 

"I just don't watch TV that much! And I'm not in the habit of googling potential friends, isn't it better to get to know someone in person?"

"Everything about me is already online, darling! It saves so much time!"

"Obviously not in this case! And there's still things you can't put online, like what about-"

Your manager's voice cuts you off suddenly.

"If you two are done with your lovers quarrel, there's a queue of people that need serving. Speed it up."

Mettaton huffs and stands up properly, going back to his diagram of the stage. You're suitably embarrassed, but you're also kind of glad because you were probably going to say something stupid about the glint in his eye when he's excited about something, or how his shoulders shake when he's properly laughing instead of the calculated giggle he uses with his fans.

Before you get too lost in thought he slides the piece of paper back over to you, with several detailed drawings of the different sets and the notes, you are amused to find, written so neatly in the copperplate font that it could have been typed. Together you work out the different quantities of fabrics needed and before you know it he's paid up and making his way towards the door with six very full carrier bags and a parting "goodbye darling!" Over his shoulder.  
Despite yourself, you're sort of disappointed he's forgotten about your invitation to hang out. You're very tempted to shout after him, but you've been in the spotlight for long enough today and the next customer is already giving you their order, dumping about twenty ribbon reels on the desk in front of you. 

With a sigh you go to crumple up the paper with the diagrams on to go in the bin, but you notice there's something written on the back.

'Call me after work XOXOXO'

Underneath is a phone number.

_Oh._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally he actually buys some fabric! Only took him like three chapters...  
> I still can't tell if it's going to slowly or to quickly, in my mind I'm trying to race ahead but then I'm like no, other stuff has to happen first and then suddenly it's chapter three and Alphys still hasn't been introduced. The rest of the characters will happen, I just feel like there needs to be more of a friendship going on first.  
> I've been sneakily trying to write this chapter on the train to and from work but I'm really paranoid people are reading it over my shoulder. I'm still super self conscious about showing people my writing but I'll loosen up over time I hope...
> 
> Also thank you all, over 100 kudos! I'm really happy this has been so well recieved <3 we're just getting started with this, there's soooo much more to come yet :D


	4. Coffee un-date

There's only a couple of hours left of your shift, but they crawl by so slowly that you're sure the clock must have run out of battery or something. Your manager is watching you carefully, probably to make sure you're not chatting for too long again, and Harriet keeps giving you dirty looks when she thinks no one is watching. Finally, _finally,_ it's time for you to sign out, and you need to force yourself not to scramble to get your stuff in an attempt to preserve what little dignity you have left. 

"Have fun on your 'date'." Harriet sneers on your way past. Normally you'd shoot something back but you're too busy fighting down a blush. It is not a date.  
You're hanging out with a frie-  
An acquaintance.  
That you met like yesterday. 

You leave the shop and turn the corner before you pull out your phone and the piece of paper. 

Is this actually Mettaton's phone number?

You're still not sure whether he's making fun of you or not. You got burned pretty bad once before, and even though it was years ago it's still at the back of your mind. But damn, you're warming up to Mettaton, and even though he's been nothing but a diva so far you're fairly sure you'd know if he really meant to upset you. You find yourself dialling the number he gave you before you think too much about it. 

He picks up on the third ring. "Hello, who is this?" You sigh in relief. 

"It's me, I've just finished work." You can hear someone in the background giggling and Mettaton shushing them to keep quiet. "Um... Is now a bad time? I can call back later if you want?"

"No!" He says almost too quickly. "No honey now is fine, I'm just with some friends. Shall I meet you at that quaint little bakery round the corner from your shop? I'll be there in about 15 minutes."

"Sure, see you soon..."

You hear him fumble with the phone and shout at someone before he hangs up. Weird. 

Shrugging, you make your way round to the cafe he mentioned. It's a little monster-run bakery with a seating area inside. You've been a few times, but they're more on the expensive side and you've never actually sat at a table before. Usually you grab a pastry on your lunch break and eat it in the staff room. You order a coffee and sit down at a table near the window to wait, content to people watch for a bit. It was quite a nice day, a little bit on the cloudy side but not enough to rain, and there was a handful of people strolling along with the air of someone on their day off. It would probably get busier later when the shops shut and people started on their way home.  
You lose track of time for a little bit until a flash of pink and black catches your eye. 

Mettaton is stood a little further down the street, arguing about something with a tall skeleton. The window in front of you and their distance means you can't make out what they're saying exactly, but it looks like the skeleton is trying to give Mettaton a shirt of some kind, who is loudly refusing and trying to give it back. After a brief struggle it seems the skeleton gets his way, and gives the robot a gentle shove towards the cafe. You sit back and take a sip of your coffee as the bell over the door jingles and Mettaton lowers himself into the chair opposite. He puts his elbows on the table and starts massaging his forehead with one hand, still clutching the wadded up tshirt in the other. 

"Whaddaya got there?" You nod towards the bundle of fabric and he sighs deeply.

" Papyrus insisted I wear this for our little rendezvous, but I was trying to explain that it wouldn't fit over these." He flicked one of his shoulder spikes for emphasis. "Of course, I could take them off but I'd never hear the end of it if he knew. I mean really, can you see me wearing this?"

He holds up the tshirt. It's plain white with tattered sleeves, and 'COOL ROBOT' emblazoned on the front in what looks like sharpie pen. Mettaton looks at it in despair.

You grin behind your coffee. "I dunno, I think it'd suit you. Is he a friend of yours?"

He groans. "Yes... He's a sweetheart really, but there has to be a line drawn somewhere. At least he didn't make me wear his 'lucky' spaghetti hat..."

You choke on your coffee at that, coughing into the crook of your arm and waving off Mettaton who almost knocks the table over trying to pat you on the back. 

"I'm fine, I'm fine, really," you wheeze, and the cough turns into a giggle when you notice Mettaton is doing the exclamation mark thing with his eyes again.  
Before you can ask him about it there's a tap on the window next to you and you turn to see the skeleton from earlier. He's grinning at Mettaton and gives him a double thumbs up, and then waves cheerily at you.

"Papyrus honey, go away! I told you I don't need help!"

The skeleton, Papyrus, points to the crumpled shirt on the table and then to his own, an almost identical shirt that said 'COOL DUDE' across the front.  
Mettaton sighs and eyes up the shirt again, so you put him out of his misery and take one for the team. 

It's a little too big around the neck, but otherwise isn't a bad fit. 

Outside, Papyrus looks like he's going to explode from excitement and is jumping up and down, and inside, Mettaton is staring at you again and okay now you're definitely sure that whirring noise from earlier was coming from him. 

"...Mettaton? You feeling oka-"

"LET ME GET YOU SOME MORE COFFEE DARLING."

He stands up abruptly and you have to grip the table to stop it falling over, and then he's off towards the counter.  
You exchange a look with Papyrus but he doesn't seem too concerned, he just gives you another thumbs up and strolls off with a look of 'my work here is done.'

Eventually Mettaton returns with two steaming mugs and passes one to you, reseating himself but being careful to avoid eye contact. 

"How much do I owe you for the coffee?"

"Oh... Don't worry about it darling, my treat. As an apology for..." He waves his hand vaguely in the direction of the window. "...All that."

You laugh and stir your coffee. "I think it's sweet. I don't really get the tshirt thing but he made it himself right? It's hard to find friends that support you like that."

That makes him look up at you, and you smile. He smiles in return, one of his genuine ones, and you are pleased to note you can tell the difference.

"Yes, well. Our little group have gotten a lot closer in the last year, and it's almost impossible not to get along with Papyrus. When you get to meet him properly I'm sure you'll adore him."

When, not if. Seems like he's decided you're going to be hanging out a lot.

This revelation doesn't bother you as much as you thought it would, considering just yesterday you were sincerely hoping you'd never run into Mettaton again. But the last couple of days have been...

Well. Interesting.

Before all this, every day was more or less the same, everything melding together while you figured out what you wanted to do with your life. Maybe that's why you called the number he left. You get the feeling that he would have kept turning up regardless to bother you while you were working. He seems like the persistent type, and if Mettaton's friends are anything like him you'll be forcibly adopted and never have a moment of peace ever again. 

Your train of thought crashes as you take a sip of your coffee and balk at how sickly sweet it is.

"How much sugar did you put in this?!"

Mettaton looks surprised and glances at his untouched coffee mug, dips his little finger in and tastes it. It's still piping hot, and you start reaching over to stop him before you remember he's a robot.

"Oh, sorry honey, I must have given you mine by mistake."

He swaps the mugs around and takes a sip from the sweet coffee, making a little satisfied hum.  
You just look at yours skeptically.

"You just stuck your finger in that."

He pauses mid-sip and looks at you. "...so?"

You wrinkle your nose at him. "That's kinda gross, do you ever even wash your hands?"

"Darling, I am the epitome of cleanliness!" He puts a hand to his chest in mock-offence which makes you snort. "And anyway, I usually wear gloves."

"That's true..."

You hadn't noticed, but now that you think about it he hadn't come in with them. His fingers were long and slender with the fingernails painted black, and you find yourself wondering what he colours them with. Nail polish? Car paint? 

"If it bothers you I can get you a fresh one." 

You smile at him expecting this to be more teasing, but his expression is completely serious. 

"Oh, uuh... No, it's fine, you don't strike me as the type to go digging through the dirt, I'm sure I'll survive."

He laughs lightly and goes back to sipping his drink, watching you over the rim of his mug. As if to prove a point you drink some of your own coffee, relieved to find that it isn't diabetes hell like Mettaton's. 

"Seriously though, how much was this coffee? I ordered a small one when I came in and that was expensive enough..." You crane your neck to look at the menu board but you can't quite make it out from where you're sitting. 

Mettaton puts his mug down and frowns lightly at you. "I'm being serious too, it's my treat. That's what friends do right?"

"Yeah, but-"

"No buts honey!" He cuts you off, going to put a finger to your lips but thinking better of it when you scowl at him. 

You huff and cross your arms. "Fine, I'll buy you the next one."

"Deal." He grins and rests his elbows on the table, leaning forward to wink at you. You roll your eyes but smile back, quietly glad that he called you a friend. You still feel bad about the coffee but if you're buying him the next one then that means that you're probably going to hang out with him again. You don't get to meet many new people, especially monsters, so Mettaton is like a breath of fresh glitter. So much glitter. 

You sit and chat for a while, sipping your coffees occasionally and people watching out the window. This is nice. Mettaton has toned down the drama a little and the conversation comes easily, anyone watching would think you'd been friends for years.

You drink the rest of your coffee in one gulp and set the mug down. "So what exactly was papyrus trying to help you with earlier?"

"Whatever do you mean, beautiful?" You've got to give him credit, he's a good actor, but you can see his smile is strained.

"You said you didn't need his help. And then there's the tshirt thing." You gesture to the shirt that you're still wearing. "What's up with that?"

He finishes his coffee and stands up, offering you a hand. "Let me walk you home darling, I'll explain on the way. It's a.... Delicate subject." He glances around and you realise that though there are only a few other customers, they're all being quiet enough to eavesdrop on your conversation. Figures.

You hesitate for a second, but then let him help you to your feet. His hand is smooth and cool to the touch, and now you're closer you can see all the little joints and seams in the metal. Fascinated, you try to examine his hand a little more but he's pulling away and heading towards the door. It probably would have been a bit of a weird thing to do anyway. It only takes a second to gather up your stuff, thank the monster behind the counter and follow Mettaton, who gives a dramatic flourish as he opens the door for you. With a laugh you step out onto the street. The two of you walk for a little while before your curiosity gets the better of you.

"Alright go on, why all the secrecy?"

He sighs, a deep, long-suffering sigh, and quickly glances around to see if anyone is in earshot. There's a couple of people hurrying home, but the street you're walking down is quiet at the best of times.  
"I don't know if you've noticed darling, but I'm not exactly... Popular with the majority of humans. I tend to stay around other monsters for company which is nice since everybody recognises me." He flips his hair and smiles at you, and you cant help but smirk back. "So when I told papyrus about you he was determined to help us make friends. His ideas are a little... Unconventional. Hence the tshirt." he stops walking and puts his hands on his hips, puffing his chest out in what you recognise to be an impression of the skeleton from earlier. "He said, and I quote, 'YOU NEED TO PUT ON NICE CLOTHES TO SHOW YOU CARE.' "

"He sounds like a goofball," You say with a laugh.  
Mettaton giggles along with you. "He is, but he's so genuine. I've never known anyone that earnest."

The pair of you continue talking about this and that as you walk, and before long you're stood in front of your apartment block. You gesture towards the building with your head. "Well, this is me."

He takes your hands in his and smiles. "It's been a pleasure darling."

"It's been fun. Oh, did you want the shirt back?" 

"No no, I'd never wear it." The expression on his face is so grim you giggle a little.

"Well what about a trade? Hold on..." You rummage through your bag and pull out a long, grey scarf. "Here, you can have this."

"Oh! Honey, that's sweet of you but I couldn't..."

"Nah, it's okay, I've got other scarves and it's coming up to summer anyway." You reach up to wrap it around his neck. It ends up covering the lower half of his face, and with his fringe as well, all you can see is one startled looking eye peering out at you. You grin. "Adorable."

The whirring sound returns, quieter than last time but it's definitely there. 

"What's that sound? Are you okay?"

He hesitates before answering, his words muffled behind the scarf. "... Just overheating a little darling, don't worry."

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" You reach up to take the scarf back off again but he stops you, pulling the scarf down to free his mouth. 

"Honestly sweetheart I'm fine, thank you. I really must be off now though, see you again!" 

He smiles and gives a small wave before you can protest, and then strides off down the street still wearing the scarf. You watch him until he's out of sight, and then make your way up to your apartment on the second floor. You drop your stuff by the door and collapse onto the sofa without stopping to take your shoes off. 

What a day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *lies dying on the floor, shakily holding up a new chapter*  
> Sorry for the wait everyone, my birthday happened and then I tried to go off on a tangent about how monster currency would mesh with human currency, even going so far as to attempt to work out a conversion rate. I ended up scrapping that part of the chapter and rewriting it, I doubt Mettaton would be that concerned over money except to make sure he had a lot of it.  
> Also Papyrus makes an appearance before Alphys! I wasn't planning it but it happened that way, and meddling friends make any fic better. Alphys will be in the next chapter for sure though. She will also be meddling. 
> 
> Thanks again for all your support! <3  
> Also shout out to my sister who managed to find my Ao3 profile and is probably judging me. I will fight you. ~~when I'm finished dying of embarrassment.~~


	5. Fans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ssooo, uuh. My bestie found my fic as well. It's not that hard to be honest, but seriously.   
> Anyway she's my editor now! :D Thanks for helping friend <333

The next day is your day off, so you sleep in a little bit and have a late breakfast. You'd been curious enough last night to google Mettaton despite the fact you said you wouldn't, and had found page after page of fan-sites and blog posts, but not a great amount of official human media. It looks like the first thing he'd done when the barrier was broken was head straight to Hollywood, but his... Unique branding hadn't been welcomed with open arms like he'd expected. Of course all the monster networks were still going strong, although a few human shows were beginning to leak through and reduce his airtime.   
You were right about one thing though. Even though he posted everything about himself online, there were still funny little things about him that would be impossible to translate. The way his face lights up (almost literally) when he's talking about his friends. The little twinkle in his eye when he's up to something. The whirring sound. You find yourself smiling into your breakfast just thinking about it. The whirring sound concerns you a little bit, but you figure he is a robot, and your laptop gets kinda noisy sometimes so it's probably nothing to worry about.

You dump your plate in the sink and head out. Even though it's your day off, you have to head back into work to pick up a small bag of groceries you'd left there the day before. You'd been in such a rush you'd forgotten about it, but there wasn't anything that needed refrigerating in there so you're not too bothered. You just hope your colleagues haven't eaten it all in the meantime.

You enter the shop and walk headfirst into a tall monster with a surprising number of eyes, and after being stared down while you stutter out an apology, you realise the shop is crammed with what looks like every monster in town. And maybe a few from the surrounding towns too. You send a silent prayer up to the retail gods as you squeeze your way up to the desk, thanking them for not giving you a shift today.  
Deb, Harriet and the manager are all serving at the desk, trying to keep on top of the wave of customers. They're doing pretty well considering, although Harriet is visibly sweating. Serves her right, you think with satisfaction. Karma at work.  
They're too focused to notice you and you don't want to bother them, so you spend a minute just taking in the sight of so many monsters in one place. There's lots that are animal related; you can pick out a couple of dogs, some lizards (including the woman and her kids from a few days ago) and a mouse wrapped up in a big scarf, but there's also a few that seem to be a strange mishmash of features and even a little origami bird fluttering about. It's incredible to think that not even a year ago, all these people were still trapped underground.   
There's one reptile that stands out to you. A short, round, yellow creature in a lab coat who is hovering awkwardly near the desk, eyes darting around as if looking for someone. Every now and then she looks like she's going to ask your colleagues something but they don't seem to notice her, and you're about to go and ask her if she's okay when her eyes fall on you and she does a strange mix of tensing up and sighing in relief. Curious, you spare her the trouble of fighting her way through the crowd and go to meet her.

"H-hi, you must be... Um, Mettaton's new f-friend??" She says so quietly that you almost can't hear her over the chatter.

"Yeah, hi." She's still tensed up, eyes darting around nervously, probably from being so crowded. It looked like if one more person bumped into her she'd pass out. "Did you want to go outside for a bit?"

Her shoulders slump in relief as she nods, and you do your best to clear space for her as you both make your way to the door. There's a little community garden over the road with a bench so you steer her towards it and take a seat. She joins you and leans back with her eyes closed, you give her a moment to take a few deep breaths, she looks like she needs it.

"You okay? It can get pretty crazy in there when it's busy."

She opens her eyes with a jump, as if she'd forgotten you were there. "A-ah, yeah, I-I'm okay I guess. I don't... Do well in crowds, but I-I wanted to, um, t-talk to you a little. M-my name is Alphys, by the way..."

"Oh, hi Alphys... Mettaton's mentioned you a couple times."

A bead of sweat drips down her forehead and she fidgets. "...o-oh?"

You give her a reassuring smile. "Only good things, I promise. You made him, right? I don't know much about electronics but there's so much detail, I'm really impressed."

Alphys gives you a watery smile, a light blush dusting her cheeks. "W-well, Mettaton is a good friend of mine, I want to, um, do my best, you know? But. That's, um, kind of what I wanted to talk about, i-if you're okay with that? Mettaton, I mean."

"Sure, what about him?"

She starts fidgeting, twisting the hem of her shirt in her hands, but she's looking at you with the most serious expression she can muster. It's about as intimidating as a cotton ball. "I just want to, um, make sure you're g-going to be a good friend, is all, because apart from us he doesn't talk to many people and I'm worried that, y-you're only hanging out because he's famous? I-I mean you seem nice and he's only ever said good things about you so I'm sure I'm just over reacting but most of the humans he's talked to didn't like him very much even though he's nice once you get to know him and I know he's a little over dramatic but he's really working on being less of a jerk and I mean I guess what I'm trying to say is just don't, um, hurt his feelings? Or I-I'll have to... Um.... Talk to you again..." She finished lamely.

It takes you a few minutes to understand what she's trying to say, you just sort of stare at her trying to make sense of it. She's doing her best to hold onto the stern look but it's starting to look strained, and there are beads of sweat on her forehead again.

Is... Is she doing the 'protective friend' thing?   
You're at a loss for words but you have to say something, she's wilting by the second.

"I... didn't know anything about him till he showed up at work a few days ago. He's uuh, unusual. But I do genuinely like him, don't worry."

"Good, that's good." She lets out the breath you hadn't realised she was holding. "I just worry about him, yaknow? Adapting has been pretty tough and, I think, it's not been what he, um, expected."

You pat her reassuringly on the shoulder. "I'm sure Mettaton is more than capable of handling himself, but from what I've seen so far he has some great friends looking out for him."

"Hello beauties, did I hear my name?" Someone purrs very close to your ear. Both you and Alphys jump and turn to face the voice, and predictably find Mettaton leaning over the back of the bench with his head in his hands and grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

He is alarmingly close to your face.

You let out an undignified squeak and jerk backwards, which would have knocked Alphys over if she hadn't already fallen off the bench. "What the hell!? That wasn't funny!" You can feel the embarrassment creeping across your face.

Mettaton straightens up, giggling, and moves around the bench to help Alphys up who is sitting dazed on the floor. "I'm sorry gorgeous, I saw you two sitting there and I couldn't resist." Once Alphys is on her feet and dusting herself off, Mettaton finally notices your blush, his eyes lighting up with little stars as he smiles at you warmly. "Oh I do love it when you have some colour in your pretty little face, it really suits you!"

You frown and cross your arms. "Is that why you keep embarrassing me?" You shuffle over to allow Alphys room to sit back on the bench and you expect Mettaton to take a seat too, but instead he stretches out over Alphys' legs to rest his head in your lap. The stars in his eyes are gone but the smile is still there. Alphys lets out a grumble of complaint but otherwise doesn't say anything - maybe she's just used to Mettaton behaving like this. It's sort of unnerving you how closely she's watching you though, like she's waiting for you to slip up. Or maybe it's just Mettaton gazing up at you that's making you nervous. "You're like an annoying cat."

Mettaton gasps dramatically, throwing one hand up against his forehead and the other against his chest, the dull metallic clang sounds making you snort. "Darling, you wound me! My only desire is to be showered in affections, is that too great a request?"

You put a finger to your lips and frown, as if you were thinking about it. After a few seconds you sneak a glance at Mettaton's face and can't hold in a giggle when he's pouting up at you.

"Well don't think about it too hard darling, you might hurt yourself."

"That's just rude, M."

"...M?" The playful expression from earlier was gone.

"Y..yeah..." You stutter a little, not sure if you'd crossed a boundary or not. "...Is it ok for me to call you that?"

"...Sure, call me whatever you want darling." His voice was low, and sounded a lot more digital than usual. Alphys was looking between the two of you suspiciously with narrowed eyes, and you could feel your hands getting clammy under the scrutiny. You look back at Mettaton but that doesn't make you feel any better. He's still smiling at you warmly, but for a second you're sure you saw the pixels in his eye glitch.

"M-Mettaton! You're sparking!"

You all look at his chest plate which is throwing up a few small sparks, getting more numerous by the second.

"O-oh. S-s-so I a-am." He says it so calmly, but Alphys is having a mini freak-out, so this is probably a bad thing.

"W-why aren't your fans on? Are they broken? What's wrong??"

He gets up with very stiff and deliberate movements, and sits on the bench between you and Alphys, arms draped over the back of the seat. "I-I-I'm tot-totally fi-fi-fine a-Alphys-phys."

She starts digging through her pockets, trying to find something. "No you're not!! Oh my god!! I need to take a look, right now! Where did I put my... Repair kit...."

Mettaton goes to stand up but when he wobbles you push him back down. "Just stay put, you're gonna fall over..." He looks at you with a strained smile, you're sure he'd be sweating if he was able to.

"I-I-I j-just-ust n-need a-a-a m-min-minute, I-I-I-I'll b-b-be-be r-right-ight ba-back..."

He goes to stand up again but the concerned look you're giving him stops him. So does your hand on his shoulder. The sparking gets worse and there's a distinct electrical burning smell.

Alphys finally manages to dig out a little multi-tool from the depths of her pockets and rounds on Mettaton, going to open up his chest plate, but soon as she touches him she snatches her hand back. "Ouch! You're overheating, r-really badly... Mettaton, this is worse than that time you turned off your internal fans on purpose..."

He looks anywhere but at you and Alphys. She narrows her eyes at him again. "You turned off you fans on purpose, again, didn't you?"

"C-c-c-ca-can w-we-we sta-start-art b-b-ba-back to-to th-th-the l-lab-ab?" He lets out a small, nervous scramble of a laugh that sounded like it had gone through a blender. You start fanning him with your hands, and while you're sure it's not doing much good he still smiles at you appreciatively.

Alphys stomps her foot impatiently. "Mettaton! Turn on your fans right now! I can't believe- what is even wrong with you?! I put the fans there for a reason!"

"I-I-I c-ca-can't-t, th-the-they're s-s-s-stuck."

"I only did maintenance last week!" She scowls at him. "I-if you don't, um, turn on your fans right now, I-I'll... Make the TV only play Kissy Cutie reruns!"

The two stare each other down for a few seconds.

Very slowly, you can hear Mettaton's fans whirring into life, and both you and Alphys breathe a sigh of relief as the sparking seems to calm down after a few minutes.

You all agree to give Mettaton a little while to cool down, so you jog back over the road to the fabric shop to finally get your groceries. This time you can't even get in the door, the monsters are all crowding towards the window. Bouncing in the doorway was Bella, long ears flopping around as she excitedly waved you over. You notice she was wearing her school uniform.

"Bella! Are you skipping school??"

She looks appropriately sheepish for a moment but then goes back to grinning. "You said Mettaton came here the other day so I wanted to get a look!" A few monsters behind her were nodding in agreement.

You rub your forehead with one hand. "That doesn't mean he's going to be here all the time... Hang on, is that why there's so many people here?!"

"I, uuh. Told a few friends..."

You roll your eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. "Uugh, whatever. Just don't go and bother him, he's not feeling very well right now." You raise your voice over the chatter of the crowd. "That goes for all of you!"  
There's a few disappointed noises and an "aww maaaan..." from somewhere near the back, but the crowd starts to disperse and filter out the doorway. You stand and glare at everyone until you're satisfied they're not going to loiter anymore. Bella is still standing in front of you, looking as innocent as a bunny could possibly look after encouraging half the town to descend on your shop at once. She's fiddling with one of her ears and looking up at you with the biggest puppy dog eyes she can muster. Or bunny eyes, you suppose.

"...You're not gonna tell my dad, are you?"

You sigh heavily again. "No... But you have to get back to school right now, okay? You have exams coming up soon."

"But you said you'd introduce me..." Her bottom lip is quivering now. God dammit.

"Another time. He really is sick right now, I don't think he'd want to meet a fan feeling anything other than his best." You glance back over at the park, where Alphys is trying to get Mettaton's chest plate open despite his protestations.

The cutesy act is gone now and Bella frowns at you. "Okay. But you better not flake out on me again!"

"I didn't flake out on you this time, you just turned up! I'll talk to him and see when he's free rather than you stalking him, okay?"

"Okay!" With that, she gives you a final grin and skips off. God damn kids. You'd be lying if you said you weren't that obnoxious at 16 though.

With one final sigh, you traipse into the shop. You're not sure why you're bothering - going by how your luck has been so far you're probably just going to find an empty plastic bag.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Monsters have no chill and are also terrible gossips.   
> Do you see the dual nature of the chapter title? Do you see it? I am hilarious. 
> 
> I considered having this happen a bit later in the story, but I think it's okay where it is even if there's a lot going on at once. So many little things to be explained, I can't wait~
> 
> Also holy shit, over 250 kudos??? When did that even happen?? I am so happy you guys don't even know. My confidence as a writer has skyrocketed while writing this fic and the feedback has been so encouraging, thank you all so so much <333


	6. The struggle is real

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn guys, I am so sorry it's been a month and a half since the last update..... I was super busy over Christmas and then I got bogged down in university applications, and even though I was chipping away at it every now and then I didn't really have the chance to properly sit down and get the chapter out. Hopefully now I can update more regularly C:   
> This one is longer than usual, partially as an apology for the hiatus but also because there's an awkward amount of stuff to get through and there wasn't a good place to end it sooner. Thank you all for being patient! <3

With the majority of the crowd gone now, you're actually able to get in the shop and walk to the back. Surprisingly there's still a handful of monsters around. You guess they came here to actually buy things rather than pretend to. Deb is the only one left on the shop floor now, she's busy clearing away the stack of fabric that's piled haphazardly on the far desk, but when she sees you she puts down the bolt of fabric she was holding and comes to meet you with a warm smile.

"Oh hey! God, we could have used your help just now, I've never seen so many monsters in one place... Most of them just wanted really small amounts though, I've never seen anything like it."

"Yeah, weird..." You scratch the back of your head, trying your best to look like you're just as puzzled as her. It probably wouldn't go down well if you mentioned that you're partially to blame, although there's no way you would have known just how quickly gossip spread among the monster community. "I uuh, think they were here to see Mettaton. We were hanging out at the park over the road for a bit." Deb just looks blankly at you. "...the square guy, remember? He was here a few days ago?"

"Oh... The one that was bothering you?" She's scowling at the memory.

"Yeah- well no but- I mean he was bothering me at the time but he's not actually that bad." You chuckle a little. "He's kind of a goofball really."

"Well as long as he's not making a nuisance of himself..." She gives you a last, long look that tells you she'll be having stern words if he does.

"Where's everyone else?" You say, quickly changing the subject. You're glad Deb is watching out for you but the protective aura she's radiating is stifling.

She frowns, and shifts her weight a little. "Aah. Well. Harriet had a... Disagreement with a customer. She's out back with the manager getting a lecture on 'cultural sensitivity'."

This piques your interest. "Oh? What happened?"

"I'm not sure exactly, I was down the back when it happened but the manager was furious. The poor monster looked absolutely mortified..."

You try to keep a straight face, but Deb notices the way your lips are twisting upwards and she glares at you. "What are you so amused by? It's no laughing matter you know."

"No, I just... Harriet said some really rude stuff yesterday about Mettaton, I'm just glad she's being knocked down a peg. Would have told the manager sooner if I'd known she'd upset someone else." Your mood quickly sobers at the thought. "I never thought she'd be like that though, usually she's so friendly..."

Deb sighed deeply, fiddling with a fabric label. "Yes, well... There's been a lot of changes in the last year, some people have found it harder to get used to than others. Harriet's just afraid, that's all."

It's not uncommon to have a few monsters in the shop every now and then and you'd been comfortable enough, but you'd barely spared a thought for how the rest of your colleges were feeling. Maybe you would have picked up on Harriet's opinion on the matter if you'd paid closer attention. You don't even know the monster in question but you can't help but feel partly to blame, as if you could have somehow changed Harriet's mind.

"...are you afraid?" You ask the question before you can stop yourself, brain jogging to catch up.

Deb smiles weakly. "I'm... Unsure... But there's no reason not to be civil, you know? And as for that Metta guy... I don't care if he's a robot or a human, it's his personality that worries me." She puts a hand on each of your shoulders and turns you to face her with a serious expression. "If he's making you uncomfortable in any way I want to know about it, okay? You don't have to put up with him if you don't want to."

You roll your eyes but you give a little half smile and nod anyway. "I'll be ahead of you in the line to kick his ass either way, you don't need to worry." She laughs at that, pulling you in for a half-hug half-noogie which you only just manage to wriggle out of in between giggles.

You feel your phone buzz in your pocket and you excuse yourself to answer it, Deb giving you a last, meaningful look before turning back to the desk to help a customer.

 

Calculator: are you gonna be much longer? Gotta get Mettaton back to lab, can't carry him lol >_<;

 

You barely have time to be confused before your phone buzzes again.

 

Calculator: oh this is alphys btw lmao sorry ^^;

 

Oh, right. You'd forgotten for a second that Mettaton was sick, or whatever the hell the robot equivalent was, and you feel a little pang of guilt for taking so long. You linger awkwardly near the door to the stock room, debating wether the bag of groceries is worth the potential awkwardness of walking into Harriet and the manager's conversation. You don't want to keep your new friends waiting for too long in case it's more serious than it seemed, but you also can't make up your mind.

"Your bag is just inside the door by the way, figured you were going to be coming back for it today."

You turn to face Deb, who is watching you with a bemused expression while she folds up some satin. A quick peek around the door frame reveals she's right, and you sigh in relief. Problem solved. You go to grab it, ears straining to hear any of the conversation down the corridor, but all you can hear is silence in front of you and the light hum of customers behind you. Just as well, it never pays to be nosy you suppose.

Sending a quick goodbye wave to Deb, you make your way to the front door. Hopefully Mettaton is okay, you're not really sure what the procedure would be if he wasn't. Humans go to the hospital, so you suppose robots would go to a mechanic? Aah but that was definitely an electrical smell earlier, so... Computer repair shop? You chew on your lip as you walk faster. Would he have to be transferred to his rectangle body or is he stuck in a broken humanoid one now? What if he couldn't be fixed? No, you're overthinking this. You try to swallow down the unease but it only increases as you catch sight of Mettaton and Alphys still on the bench outside. He's lying motionless across the bench with his head in Alphys' lap, and as you get closer you can see that his eyes are closed. That's not a good sign... You quicken your pace to a jog. Great, the second monster friend you've ever made and he's probably dead.

By the time you reach them you're a little winded, and you rest your hands on your knees as you catch your breath. "Is... Is he okay?"

Alphys looks up from her phone. The fact that she doesn't look particularly worried relieves you a little. If anything, she looks annoyed.

"Yeah, he, um, powered down for the moment. I wanted to take a look, at his circuits, but he said here was too public, o-or something." She huffed. "Honestly... Nearly fries his circuits, a-and then won't let me, um, fix them. Although, I guess it's kind of like, going to the doctors? O-on second thought, I probably wouldn't want to, um, be examined in a park..."

She frowns down at her phone and you decide to cut her off before she starts rambling again. "So where have we got to take him? You can fix him right?"

"Oh! R-right, well... My lab isn't that far, but he's pretty heavy so... C-could you, maybe, carry him? Undyne would normally, um, help, but she's at work right now, s-so..."

You look over Mettaton again. He's a little taller than you, but quite slender, so you could probably manage at least part of the way. His face is peaceful, you'd think he was sleeping if he wasn't completely motionless, although you suppose he technically is sleeping. It's creeping you out a little if you're honest, he's been so animated in the few days you've known him.

You take a deep breath and nod. "Could we wake him up? I could probably give him a piggy back but he'd need to hold on."

Alphys' brow furrows in thought. "Well I guess...? I could, um, wake him up p-partially, I think, without too much, risk o-of damaging his circuits further... Probably..."

"I don't like the sound of that 'probably'... Okay, um.... Hold my bags. Let's see how far we get with him powered down, if he gets too heavy we'll stop and figure something else out."

Alphys breathes a sigh of relief and nods. At least she's convinced, you're not so sure this is going to end well. After a lot of pushing and pulling, you both manage to get Mettaton sitting upright on the bench and one last heave has him mostly on his feet, arms wound around your neck like a very photogenic cape. His arms kind of remind you of the hoses on vacuum cleaners, rubbery and boneless, and every attempt to pick up his legs to assume the traditional piggyback pose ended with his arms unraveling from you shoulders and him slumping back onto the bench. In the end you had to settle for holding onto his arms for dear life. His feet are dragging along the floor but scuffed boots are the least of his problems right now. You take an experimental step forward, shifting his weight to put the least strain on your back, he's definitely heavier than expected but you could probably manage okay. For a little while at least.

"Okay I think... We're good to go..." You adjust his weight once more for good measure and start walking, Alphys scuttling along behind with your bags, wringing the straps in her hands and frowning.

"I, uuh... Don't think he'd, l-like his boots scuffed? I mean they a-are kind of his favourite pair, and...."

You raise an eyebrow. "He'd prefer being left to rust in a park over scuffed boots?"

"Well, no, but..."

Her eyes are flicking between you and the head lolling over your shoulder, as if he'd wake up any moment and declare his outrage over scuffed boots. You stop walking and sigh.

"Fine.... I've got a jumper in my work bag, you can tie that round his feet. This is gonna look about a thousand times more suspicious though..."

"D-don't worry, most monsters know me, or at least, recognise me... So, um, they'll know he's not being k-kidnapped, or something."

It takes a few minutes for Alphys to dig through your work bag and then tie said jumper around the sacred pink boots. You want to check that's she's tied it properly but you'd have to put Mettaton down for that, and there's no way you'd be able to pick him up again with your muscles protesting as they are. As long as the jumper doesn't get lost, you don't mind. It was just a plain grey thing your grandparents had gotten you for Christmas a few years back, but it was the only one you owned that was comfortable enough for the spring weather. It's not like you couldn't fix up a few holes, you were planning to decorate it anyway.

"O-okay, done."

Alphys re-appears at your side and picks up your bags again, still glancing nervously at Mettaton, but her shoulders aren't as tense so you suppose she's feeling a bit better.

You walk for a little while in silence, content to just take in the surroundings. Well, Alphys is. You're just looking around for a distraction to the robot on your back. His head keeps bumping against yours if you jostle him too much, and his hair is tickling the back of your neck.

"Is it too much further? His perfume is going to make me sneeze." It was the same scent he was wearing when he helped you with the fax machine, something fruity and sweet. Honestly you kind of like it, but he's wearing a lot of it and being this close to him is just making it stick in your nose. It's probably all you'll be smelling for a while.

She looks around, examining each street sign within readable distance in turn, then takes her glasses off and cleans them with a corner of her lab coat.

"Well I've, um, got everything I need a-at my house. Which is where my lab is. B-but I guess that, um, doesn't really answer your question, hahaha..." Her half-hearted laugh trails off, and she replaces her glasses with a forced smile. "I think, s-somewhere around here is, um, a short cut..."

She scuttles off down a side street, and you make the executive decision to stay where you are. It would probably be better for everyone not to waste time and energy with wrong turns, especially since you can already feel your legs trying to buckle from Mettaton's weight. Although presumedly Alphys would have walked to your workplace to start with, so she'd know the way back.

She's not gone for very long, and returns out of breath and flustered.

"I-it's... This way.... Pretty sure...."

You nod and start walking behind her. It's slow going, but Alphys only has little legs so this is probably a comfortable pace for her. You're glad you're able to keep up with her though, you don't think you'd be able to drag Mettaton any faster if you tried. There's a few people walking around, but apart from a few interested stares the three of you are given a wide berth, which is just as well you suppose. This would only be harder with fans crowding you. The scraping of his boots is muffled now, and the pavement is smooth enough that you're confident your jumper is going to come out of this relatively unscathed. It might want a wash before you wear it again though.

Every time you get to a junction, Alphys stops and looks around, muttering to herself, before picking a direction and heading off with renewed energy. You really hope she knows where she's going, the muscles in your arms and legs are aching in constant protest now. This is really not how you wanted to spend your day off....

It's giving you plenty of time to examine the head lolling over your right shoulder though. The angle is awkward, but the veil of fringe that normally covers half his face has fallen away and for once you can see both eyes. What you can see of his face is perfectly symmetrical, almost eerily so, and void of expression like when he was lying on the bench. You can't tell what his skin is made from, some kind of silicone maybe? But Papyrus is literally a skeleton and his face was as elastic as anything, so maybe Mettaton's is solid metal and there's some weird monster thing that makes it like skin. You have the urge to touch his face to see but that would be kind of weird, and you can't actually let go of him without letting him fall. Honestly, you're kind of impressed with how flawless he looks. Is his eyeshadow painted on permanently or does he re-apply it every day?

You're so engrossed in your thoughts that you don't notice Alphys has stopped walking until you almost trip over her. She's looking anxiously between two different footpaths, getting more and more agitated the longer she stands there.

"Everything okay?"

She lurches forward with a yelp, as if she'd forgotten you were there, but once the recognition flashes across her face she attempts to compose herself. There's beads of sweat on her forehead and the forced smile from earlier has morphed into a grimace.

"I-I uuh, w-well you see I-I-I thought this, was the r-right way, um, b-but it looks v-very similar, to the, uhh, way I came, a-and I'm still very new to this t-town and I thought, um th-that if I w-went in the general direction, we would... Uuh... Get there, e-eventually...." She's desperately avoiding meeting your eye, looking at everything and anything except you and pulling nervously at her collar.

You groan. "Oh my god..."

Alphys lets out a stream of nervous laughter. "I j-just thought that, i-if we stuck to the, um, back streets, we'd avoid any crowds... That might, you know, be fans...?" She looks like she's trying to melt through the floor with sheer willpower. You sigh. This is REALLY not how you wanted to spend your day off.

"Where are we trying to get to?" The impatience in your voice leaks through despite your best efforts. She winces at your tone and you immediately regret it.

"..u-um, the new apartment building... N-near the train station..." She's so quiet you almost don't hear her. With her height and the way she's wringing the straps of your bags in her hands again, you feel like you're helping a lost child instead of a young woman.

"Uuugh, that's like half an hour away from here..." Alphys wilts further and you swear there's a trace of a wobbly lip. Oh no. "But it's okay! It's doable. Come on, let's go." You give her what you hope is a reassuring smile and start trudging off, Alphys walking beside you but hanging back a little. Your back started aching about four streets back and the muscles in your arms and legs are burning, and to make things worse Mettaton's arms are starting to uncoil from around your neck and it's all you can do to stop him slipping off altogether and/or strangling you. You absently wonder if you could have tied his arms in a knot to start with.

"Hey... Alphys... Could you keep a lookout for somewhere to sit down?"

She gets the hint and immediately switches from dejection to mild panic. "O-okay, I can do that!"

She doesn't scoot off ahead this time but she does speed up, walking a couple of metres in front of you with renewed purpose. She seems to have forgotten that you're supposed to be leading the way but at this point your body is screaming for a rest so you don't really care all that much.

After a few more minutes you spot an old bus stop, one of the ones with a proper bench under the plexiglass roof instead of weird half seats that you have to lean up against. Thank god. Alphys spots it too and points it out to you, a little smile of triumph tugging at her face. You slowly make your way over and lower Mettaton onto the seat before collapsing next to him, sinking into the bench gratefully and attempting to catch your breath. A quick glance at your phone reveals that you'd only been walking for about twenty minutes since you left the shop, but you weren't even halfway to your destination yet. Longer then you thought you'd last at least.

"Thanks Alphys, just... Gimme a minute...."

You throw up a weak thumbs up and she flushes and grins at you, it's probably the happiest you've seen her since the two of you met.

"I-I'm glad I could help, um, in some way..."

You shove Mettaton over on the bench so there's room for Alphys, who sits down next to you and pulls out her phone. It hits you how absurd this whole situation is, how barely a week ago your life was about as mundane as the next person. Now you're sat at a bus stop with a lizard in a lab coat and an unconscious robot. You let out a little hysterical giggle without meaning to, and Alphys looks up from her phone with a raised eyebrow.

"Y-you okay?"

"Yeah, I just... This..." You wave your arms, gesturing around you. "...all of this, it's so surreal, like I woke up and suddenly I'm some anime protagonist and my brain is just failing to process everything..."

Alphys is looking at you strangely now, phone forgotten on her lap, and it's probably just because you're tired but you let your nerves get the better of you and you keep talking.

"I mean like this morning when I woke up I was expecting to pick up my stuff from work and then maybe go to the park to read for a bit or something, but instead I've seen the entire town's population of monsters all at once and now I'm hauling around an oversized toaster who purposely fried his own processor for reasons unknown. Not to mention how determined he seems to be to embarrass me but also to be friends? I just don't get it!"

With a huff you slump down on the bench, staring up at the plexiglass ceiling of the bus shelter. Your face warms a little from your outburst. You hadn't meant to unload like that on Alphys, but the last few days were starting to catch up with you. There's a few minutes of silence between you and you sneak a glance at her out of the corner of your eye, worried that you'd said something wrong. She's looking at you with sympathy, her expression gentle. It seems like she's waiting for you to say more, giving you the space to arrange your thoughts, but you're not sure if there's anything else you want to say at this point. You appreciate it though. You're about to apologise when there's suddenly a weight on your shoulder and you tense a little. Mettaton has slid down on the bench a bit and ended up with his head on your shoulder, thankfully missing your arm with his shoulder spikes. That probably would have hurt. You freeze, not really sure how to react, when a thought occurs to you and you turn back to Alphys with wide eyes.

"Can... Did he hear all that?" You whisper. She just bursts out laughing, which really isn't making you feel any better.

"N-no, he, um, he's out cold. There's basic sensors, f-for safety, but he can't hear anything." She giggles again and adds a quiet "That w-was cute..." When you turn away to prop Mettaton upright again. You pretend you don't hear her and ignore the heat radiating from your face.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, Metta will be back in action in the next chapter~


	7. Interference

You sit together on the bench for a little while longer, Alphys checking her phone quietly. It's not an awkward silence as such, there's just nothing you feel the need to talk about right now. Plenty of questions sure, but there's a time and a place. Your limbs are thankfully feeling less like noodles by now, and while you'd love to stop here and just chill out for the rest of the day you still have a sick robot to get home. 

You stretch in your seat. "So Alphys, what's plan B?" 

She frowns and adjusts her glasses, still looking at her phone. "W-Well I've been asking around, um, b-but I think everyone is b-busy right now... Undyne and Papyrus m-might meet us on the w-way though." 

"I'd suggest the bus but I haven't got any change..."

Alphys pats her pockets down. "M-Me neither..."

You slide down on the bench with a groan, legs sticking out like a rag doll and mirroring the robot beside you. "I don't think I could carry him like that any further... Is waking him up still not an option?"

She looks over at Mettaton and chews on her lip in thought. After a few seconds she hops off the bench and moves over to him, pulling her multi-tool out of her pocket in the process.   
"Make s-sure no one is looking...."

Before you can even register what she's doing, Alphys is prying open his chestplate and pulling wires out, muttering to herself as she goes. You're curious but watching feels wrong somehow, invasive, so you redirect your attention to watching out for other wandering eyes. There's a few humans wandering about at the other end of the street, but the bus shelter is shielding you from view and no one pays your odd little group any mind.

"Hm. C-could have been worse... I-If I put this here, disable th-that..." Over the muttering you hear the chestplate snap shut and decide to risk a glance. Thankfully Alphys seems to have finished whatever the hell she was doing and is shoving the tools back in her pockets, beads of sweat forming on her forehead. 

"D-don't tell him, that I-I did that..." 

"Did what?"

"Shh! i-it'll take him a m-moment to boot up, j-just don't say anything!"

You press your lips together and wordlessly turn to watch Mettaton with wide eyes. His fingers are already twitching and his eyes are open, pupils buzzing with static. You hadn't realised how much you'd missed the background hum of his processors until the sound faded back into existence and you could finally put your finger on why it was so eerie before; he'd been too quiet. Belatedly you remember your jumper tied around his feet and quickly reach down to remove it, stuffing it back into your bag hurriedly. You're not sure he'd appreciate the knowledge that he'd been dragged through the streets like that...  
It takes him a few moments to come back to himself, but when his eyes finally clear he sits up a little straighter and blinks blearily at you.

"Oh... D-d-darling, you're b-back-ack." He gives you a lopsided smile before looking around the bus shelter. "How did I g-get here?"

"I carried you, but we've still got a little way to go so do you think you could walk it?" 

He beams at you and throws his arms out for a hug but only manages to get one arm around you, the other disappears down the back of the bench. You tense up, but can't bring yourself to shove him off. Naturally, he plays it off like he totally meant to do that.

"Oh! How lovely! Re-re-rescuing a robot in distress-ess, how gallant!" The static in his voice is fading away a little, probably from only having just woken up. Something doesn't seem right though, this new brand of clumsiness seeming less... Elegant than usual.

"...you feeling okay M?" You look over at Alphys, confusion plastered on your face. "Is he okay?"  
She seems just as concerned as you are, wringing the corner of her lab coat again. 

"H-he's on emergency p-power, because, um, h-his main b-battery is d-damaged, b-but there m-might be a p-p-problem with his fine m-motor servos, o-or m-maybe his balance..."

As if to prove her point, Mettaton picks that moment to attempt to stand up, but sways forward in such a way that you and Alphys yelp and instinctively grab his arms to pull him back down on the bench. He huffs, and very slowly and deliberately crosses his arms. It takes him a few tries.

"Uugh, this is humiliating-ing... Is there nothing you can do Alphys? I can't be seen like this, it isn't going to help my brand at all!"

She glares weakly at him. "Y-You're just going to have to wait, I can't fix a-anything without my tools. A-And anyway, this whole mess i-is your fault in the first place!"

"Yes yes, we've been over this already..." He sighs heavily and turns to you. "I'm sorry my dear, but would you mind helping me for a tiny bit longer? I'll make it up to you, I promise." 

You roll your eyes. "Like I wasn't already going to make sure you get home in one piece..." You stand and hold a hand out to him, and after a moment's hesitation he takes it and you help him to his feet. He wobbles a little, but you hold him steady. "Doing okay?"

"I think so..." He looks at you expectantly. You raise an eyebrow and stare back, but he doesn't give any indication of what he's waiting for. Eventually you give in.

"...what?"

He pouts. "Aren't you going to carry me again?"

"What? No! You're too heavy, that's the whole reason we stopped here!"

"But darling! I want to experience the beauty of it!" You're sure he'd be posing dramatically if there wasn't the risk of him falling over/punching someone in the face. "I can just see it now, you scooping me up in your arms, determined to get me to safety whatever the cost!" He forgets himself for a moment and brings a hand up to his forehead to swoon, but accidentally pokes himself in the eye instead. He scowls at the offending hand and let's it drop back to his side with a huff. 

"I-It really wasn't as glamorous as all that, honestly..." You look over at Alphys for backup, who is sweating and keeping her mouth firmly shut. It seems like she wants to stay out of this conversation as much as possible. You sigh. "...let's just get a move on already..."

You loop his arm around your shoulders, and after a few seconds of internal debate, put your own arm around his waist. 

To steady him. Because he's wobbling.

Mettaton seems unfazed, too lost in his daydream, but you can hear his fans whirring a little. 

"Grasping weakly at the lapel of your jacket, my hair flowing in the breeze... It would also show off my boots perfectly. Can we wait here a little longer? I think the sun setting would make the perfect backdrop for this."

"Oh my god, it's early afternoon..." You start walking, prompting Mettaton to stumble after you. Alphys grabs your bags again and shuffles along in silence, still sweating nervously but watching the two of you out of the corner of her eye. You meet her gaze by accident a few times and every time she looks away just as quickly, and even though you've only known her for a little while you're starting to feel like she's up to something. 

"Honestly darling, the more I think about the idea the more I like it. Maybe we could organise a photo shoot! Or even better, a music video, although naturally I'd have to write and produce a song to go with it first. How do you feel about a medieval fantasy theme?" 

"...what are you even talking about?"

"Lots of floaty silk, I think." He turns to Alphys. "I think we'll need a wind machine. Can you build a wind machine?" 

"I-I-I, uhh, w-what-"

"Actually darling, scratch that. If we can find a castle nearby we can just pick a windy day, it'll free up more budget for cherry blossoms."

You can't help it but you let out a giggle, and then another, and then a stream of giggles, and you press your forehead into Mettaton's shoulder as you try to compose yourself. You can hear his fans whirring at full force and a voice at the back of your mind is telling you that means he's overheating again, but the combination of tiredness and stress just washes over you. When you manage to pull yourself together enough to look at him, you find he's staring at you with that unreadable expression again, but this time there's a hint of a smile.

"Something tickle you, honey?"

"Cherry blossoms? Really?"

"Of course! It's the look of the thing, what's the point in doing it at all if you don't maximise the drama!" 

You snort. "What makes you think I'll go along with your crazy music video anyway?"

"Comes with the territory my dear, you've had plenty of chances to back out of this friendship already. Unless of course I've ensnared you with my charming good looks..." He bats his eyelashes at you and you roll your eyes with a grin. 

"You wish, more like your weirdness."

"You wound me again, gorgeous!" He leans in to whisper in your ear with a smirk. "But you didn't deny being ensnared..." 

The unease curls in your stomach and you lean away a little, trying to keep your expression level. You are so ready to dump him on the floor if it comes to it, new friendship be damned. Thankfully he seems to read the mood and backs off almost instantly, perfectly shaped eyebrows pinching together in concern.

"Oh darling I'm sorry, I- I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine, honestly," You cut him off. "It's just... weird for me."

He doesn't look convinced, but he doesn't press the matter either which you're thankful for. It's not something you want to talk about right now. You smile at him in the hopes that he'll go back to joking around, and you're rewarded with a smile in kind, full of warmth in a way that makes your stomach flutter. With his free hand, he reaches up to brush a stray lock of hair out of your face and the gentleness of the gesture puts you at ease.

Except now there's a finger up your nose.

The two of you stand there for a few seconds as the situation sinks in, frozen in some kind of comedy tableaux, until Alphys mutters an amused "smooth, M-Metta...." From somewhere to your left and Mettaton snatches his hand back, horror blooming slowly on his face. You just stare at him in surprise, before bursting out laughing yet again.

Alphys has the biggest shit-eating grin you've ever seen. "Y-Your motor servos are, um, still broken, you know. Might w-want to, wait until they're f-fixed before y-you, um, try to be cool. Just s-saying."

Mettaton clears his throat loudly. "Yes, well, I think it's time we got home darling, don't you?" 

Before you can properly register what happened you're being propelled forward so quickly that you nearly trip over your own feet.

"Woah woah woah, slow down!"

Thankfully he does, the two of you slowing your erratic wobble as you manage to find your balance again, but you've managed to put a bit of distance between you and Alphys who you can hear sniggering behind you.

"This is not how I wanted today to go..." Mutters Mettaton between gritted teeth. 

You laugh and roll your eyes. "I don't think this is how anyone wanted their day to go. Not saying it's your fault, buuuut..."

He falls silent and pouts, and sets his attention to examining the buildings as you pass them. You just focus on putting one foot in front of the other for a while. He seems to be genuinely upset.

"...so why did you do that back there? With the overheating, I mean."

He takes a long time to answer, and you start to wonder if he's ignoring you.

"It's complicated. Alphys has a habit of… interfering." He says eventually. He glances over his shoulder with a scowl, and you follow his line of sight to see Alphys hanging back a bit, texting on her phone as she walks. 

"You frown. "Interfering?"

"Honestly darling it's nothing you need to worry about, I'll explain another time. Right now I just want to get things back to normal, I think I've had enough humiliation for one day."

You're starting to get to the busier parts of town now, and more and more people are giving you odd looks. Mettaton saunters along as best he can, and at a glance it's hard to tell anything is wrong, but his movements aren't as fluid as usual and he stumbles every now and then. Only a couple more streets to go...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Metta, he'll be back to normal soon...  
> This plot arc has been really long for some reason, there's just been too many ideas to play with and I wanted to lay down some plot points, I'll leave you to guess what they are :P I think if I was writing this fic all at once it would be easier to get the pacing right. That, or I get better at planning things out... We'll be seeing some new faces next chapter regardless c;  
> This also hasn't gone past my editor by the way, her internet has gone down and doesn't know when it'll be back, and I've been sitting on this chapter for long enough. Let me know if there's any spelling mistakes or weird grammar that I've missed, or just con-crit in general would be amazing. Thank you all so much again for your interest in this fic, I'm determined to see this through to the end and all your comments keep me going (even if I'm super slow to reply ^^; )
> 
> On another note, I found this video before I posted the last chapter and forgot to share it! It had me in stitches ;D Mettaton's version will naturally have more glitter in it.  
> http://stubbornpotato.tumblr.com/post/136998787811/i-saw-somebody-doing-a-monsters-inc-au-and-i


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